My Arrogance

How arrogant am I! Turns out; quite a bit!

I am facing this realization the last few days as I take a look at an all-powerful God and how I have continually chosen to ’serve’ and relate to him. God is absolutely all-powerful, and he created me and all things and people to love and serve him. Colossians 1 tells us that we are all created by God for God.

It reminds me of the joke about the cat and dog. The dog says, “You feed me. You pet me. You give me shelter; you must be God.” The cat says, “You feed me. You pet me. You give me shelter; I must be God.” I think there is an entire book written about “Cat and Dog Theology”, but here’s the deal I am trying to learn at this moment:

How often do I treat God like I was created to be served by Him, or worse yet, that I created Him so that he would serve me?

When I take a moment to reflect on my worship, my prayer life, my faith overall, I am sobered by how arrogant I really am. I have treated God as though it is His job to be at my beckon call; as though he were created for me and not the other way around.

How much time have I spent asking that God take care of ME, bless ME, heal ME, be with and take care of MY friends and family? Now I realize we are told to ask and it will be given, seek and we will find, but is that all I have done?

Perhaps the answer likes in what happens in my heart when those requests are NOT answered as I request or expect. Do I get frustrated with God (not angry but frustrated…because thats a whole other topic)? Do I expect an explanation from God? Honestly, how many times have I asked God “why” as though His work and choices need to be checked; much less checked by ME?

Daniel 4:35 says, “All the peoples of the earth are regarded as nothing. He does as he pleases with the powers of heaven and the peoples of the earth. No one can hold back his hand or say to Him: ‘What have you done?’”

All those times I have wanted to ask God “WHY!” Man, I cannot believe how often my heart wants answers to “why” questions I may never get, and God is not obligated to answer those questions that are formed from my limited and often ridiculous perception in comparison to the perception of an all-knowing, all-powerful God who lives outside of physical space and time.

How arrogant I have become! I have forgotten who the man is, and who God is here.

loving God???

“To just read the Bible, attend church, and avoid ‘big’ sins–is this passionate, wholehearted love for God?”
– Francois Fenelon, The Seeking Heart

Fire Within

Fire pops and cracks within its heart’s home;
warming the cooled hearts of some
and a navigation smoke for those who roam.

Lest all the doors are left open wide!
As the cold smothers and fires die,
vagabond hearts are left awry.

Protect your fire, heart within me.
Close the door and open the chimney;
providing warmth for hearts and smoke to see.

Obsessed with words, my heart grows cold;
my fire within goes untold
and subsidingly bold.
Neighbors are left without warmth
     without hope
          without wisdom which to hold.

Sandy Brackets

“Therefore everyone who hears these words of mine and acts upon them they will be compared to a wise man who builds his [marriage, recovery] upon the rock.  And the rain descended, and the floods came, and the winds blew and the [trials of life] burst against the [marriage, recovery] and yet it did not fall, for it had been founded upon the rock.  And everyone who hears these words of mine and does not act upon them, will be like a foolish man, who build his [marriage, recovery] upon the sand.  And the rain descended, and [trials of life] blew, and burst against the [marriage, recovery] and it fell, and great was its fall.” – Matthew 7:24-27

When I read this, I realize a couple things.  I can put just about anything into those brackets.  What am I trying to build in my life? A marriage? A recovery process? A family? A ministry? A portfolio? A career? A relationship or friendship? The list could go on and on, but the reality is the same; build it on the rock, on Jesus, and it will withstand the storms and trials of life that pound against it, but build it on the sand and it will inevitably fail.

So the question is what qualifies as ’sand’? If I am to avoid building anything upon it to save from all of it washing out beneath me then it is important to determine what things would be classified as “sandy” foundations out of this metaphor.

The answer is easier to see and harder to live out than it would seem.  By implication of Jesus being THE rock upon which to build, it is to the exclusion of everything else.  That means that anything but Jesus is sand.

“But what about [insert any actual 'good' thing]?”

No matter how good it may be, only Jesus is the rock; “all other ground is sinking sand.”

‘All other ground is sinking sand.’

What am I building my marriage on? My ministry? My friendships? If its not on Jesus, its sinking sand and it will not withstand the blows of life.

The storms WILL come, and life WILL happen.  Will everything I have build be washed out from under me?

lovesac

Two questions have invaded my heart lately.  One, “Where does Sac State hurt the most, and how can we practically love them in that hurt?”  As I begin a school year from a ministry perspective, I look at Sac State as a mission field readily available to me when God has placed me somewhere as a college and young adult pastor of a college and young adult group.  Sac State is practically in our back yard, and many of our students are taking classes at Sac State.  What are we doing to love people all around us?  How do I best love those who are all around me?

A wise drunk peasant once asked his equally inebriated friend, “How can you tell me you love me if you don’t know what hurts me?” There is great truth in that statement.

People who love you most know what hurts you and they meet whatever needs they are capable of meeting within that hurt.

SO as a pastor, shepherd, and disciple of Jesus to college and young adults in the Sacramento area, I have to ask myself, “Where does Sac State hurt the most? Where do college and young adults in Sac hurt the most?”

Of course asking the question is not enough, and this now means I need to seek the answers.  I need to find out what the answers to that question might be.

Once I get the answers, I then have to look at the second half of the question. How am I or can I practically love them in that hurt? What can I do within my power and capability to serve each hurting person or group or university and love them where they hurt the most?

This is the first of two questions I am asking of myself and others right now.

Brainstorm with Me

Where do college and young adults (18-28 yrs) AROUND YOU hurt the most? (Be as specific or general as you would like)

Glorious Loneliness

Pastoral leadership is a learning position I have come to learn, but one lesson I am slowly learning is the need of withdrawal and daily solitude. Solitude as a place of heart as opposed to a set physical space!

It is not an escape.
It is not a break for rejuvenation.

In fact solitude should always be met with struggle and tension. Otherwise it is only a vacation, which also comes as a need from time to time. But solitude is needed on a much more frequent basis.

In solitude my hear is truly alone with the Father. In that loneliness I am able to shed all the demands of myself to be a certain person. I am nothing in solitude, and in that nothingness God speaks to that recess. He speaks authentic identity and intimacy.

That may not always be a peaceful smooth process. In fact it may even be abrasive when my false self I’ve worked so hard to create has to subside to the true authentic self only God can speak into my heart.

When I do not commit myself to real solitude, I lead out of either a false self or out of an increasingly soulless place.

Further, without a commitment to solitude I can begin to believe that my soul identity is ‘pastor’, and that if I am not a pastor, I am nothing. And even further than that, once my identity comes within something like that, critique creates an anger or resentment because I’ve wrapped too much of my SELF into something so fickle. So when my pastoral role is critiqued, it comes as an attack on my identity.

All of this because I have not committed myself to solitude with all of those ‘roles’ left aside so as to listen only to God as my Abba speaks my real identity into my soul, and it is only as painful as the length of time since the last moment of solitude.

New Sermon Audio Up

I have posted new sermon audio if you are at all interested.

It’s all right here