Movie Question

What movie or movie character do you most identify with? Why?

Surface Wants

I want to laugh.
I want to create.
I want to feel close to people and friends.
I want to be driven by passion to do everything I do.
I want to do great things.
I want to meet random people.
I want my wife to feel loved, respected, and pursued by me.
I want to look up to someone wiser than me and have time with that person learning and listening.
I want people to walk away from me refreshed, lifted, and glad.
I want to love the hell out of people.
I want to care more for people than I do about being right.
I want to spend more energy meeting and loving people than I do putting pointless fires out.
I want my wife to feel fulfilled, believed-in, loved, desired, and supported.
I want to be around people who ask how I am doing more than a simple greeting.
I want to have non-Christian friends.
I want to create art in all sorts of ways.
I want to do something different.
I want to care about some issues so much that I do something about it.
I want to play volleyball again.
I want to have intentional conversations at coffee shops and diners with good friends.
I want to feel full…
…alive…
…inspired…

AU Chapels still…

Craig Gross ( xxxchurch  and Starving Jesus ) and I drove to work together today.  Well, I dropped Craig off about 3/4 of the way and picked Bart Campolo up for the remainder of the way.  Because of podcasts, I’ve been to and from work on my ridiculous commute this week with Craig, Bart, Shane Claiborne, John Ortberg, and a significant amount of the editorial staff at Relevant Magazine (which thanks to them I even got a couple minutes with Barack Obama last week).

More specifically this week I have been listening to the Anderson University (my alma matter) chapel podcast from the most recent school year.  As I’ve been listening, I am remembering a common theme among AU chapel speakers; at least among guys doing new and creative things like Shane Claiborne, Crag Gross, and Bart Campolo.  I always remember hearing from guys like that or reading their books and hearing a certain statement that, in so many different words, essentially said, “I never would have thought this is what I was going to do, but God…”  There’s usually a joke or two about how they had their own plans, and God’s plan didn’t fit into their plan, but God ‘has a funny way about…”

I thought about those guys today while listening to Craig, and I would love to do something so crazy and different like they are doing.  I would love to have a moment of time with God where something so different from my plans is placed upon my life.  I would go after something like that and pursue it with whatever I could.  Then I would go to chapels all over the country and say, “I would never have thought I would be doing this, but God…” These are the thoughts I was having.

Then I remembered my time at AU.  I remembered being a student in those chapels with those sorts of speakers, and I transpose that with where I am now as a pastor at a mega-church (well, a mega-church to most of my friends in the midwest).  When I look at that, I see that I have certainly come to that point.  Anyone who knew me well enough in college knows it is certainly a surprise that I would be attending a mega-church much less being on pastoral staff.  When I remember back to being a student in chapel hearing about my plans not coinciding with God’s plans, and how amazing it is when you end up where God had planned for you to be, I can say, “Oh yeah! Believe it!”

Though I am not heading up a creative nationwide ministry, I am certainly doing something I would have never thought I would do if you asked me when I was a student.  I can definitely say with confidence that God knew and knows the plans he has for me, and that my ways are never his ways.

I never would have thought this is what I was going to do, but God…

Home

Even if its an overnight stay at a hotel, Tonya will unpack all of our clothes and pack them into the hotel dresser.  She will set up the bathroom and room like we were moving in.  We laugh about it because it makes no sense to me, because I am kind of different.

I am typically one to throw stuff away. When we move, I would much rather throw crap away than to move it to another place where we’ll just store it until the next time we move.

Those things are still nonsense to me, but I, if left to my own, would likely throw a lot of things away, which would not have been stored away.  I have a tendency to be rid of ’stuff’.  I don’t like to hold on to things.

I’m not sure why.  I’m not sure if its a lacking desire to move it all again when it’s easier to throw it all away.  Maybe its because I want more simplicity…always!  Maybe…

I don’t know why, but I thought about it some today.  There is an element of “home” within a lot of those things.  As people, we move more and more than we used to in generations gone by.  It is more and more rare to be able to grow up entirely in one house.  Houses are not that element of home any longer.  But there ARE items that we attach with a sense of ‘home’.  Even though I cannot exactly think of a particular house to which I can say, “Oh THAT was home to me,” I can think of items, which if removed from any of the houses growing up, would have thrown my sense of “home” completely upside down.

This is a reminder to me that though life is very transient now, I have to LIVE wherever I may be at the time.  That may mean LIVING like I’ll be there for the rest of my life (even if I KNOW I won’t).  Make ‘home’ wherever I am.  Thats the only way to make such short term places truly feel like home, and we all need a sense of home.

And thats not easy for a guy who, what seems by nature, likes to get rid of crap.

First and Last Post about “The Shack”

Since a few people have been asking me what I thought about “The Shack” by William Young, I suppose I should sit for a moment and determine what I really did think about it.

First of all, I realize it is fiction, and I chose to read it as such.  Now it is important to clarify that, because it was important to remind myself of that a few times during the reading.  THAT may be a solid indicator of good fiction, though, as far as I am concerned.

On the cover of the particular edition I read was a recommendation by Eugene Peterson, whom I have a great respect for.  I don’t particularly like The Message, but I greatly respect Peterson as a scholar and a theologian.  He wrote something to the effect of “The Shack has the potential to do for this time what Pilgrim’s Progress did for its own.” So I was excited!

So theology; the part everyone wonders about when reading the book (or when bashing it without having read it).  I went back and read some reader reviews on shelfari.com (which you should all join and be friends with me on) and found pretty generally, the view was:

“Great fiction; horrible theology.”

There was a smattering of terms like:

“New Age” “bad fiction” “poor theology” and even “typical bandwagon Christian crap” (that one promotes an agreeable grin from me)

But there are others with comments like:

“Great!” “Powerful” “transformational”

Well to ALL those reactions, good and bad, I say, “mmmmm, yeah.”

I did really like the book.  I do not read fiction much at all, though I should because it brings a certain life to my own writing.  This book was one I read because many people “under my care” were reading it.

The story really is a pretty decent story. (I’ve read much better fiction, which says a lot coming from a guy who doesn’t read much fiction.) There was a lot of imagery used TO SERVE THE PURPOSE OF ALLEGORY that would not be very theologically sound or able to fall within any canonical doctrine.

BUUUUUT….

I will say that, AS AN ALLEGORY, it was brilliant.  I don’t imagine many people were too happy with Bunyun when he wrote Pilgrim’s Progress either, but as an allegory, it was also brilliant for its time.

I do not read “The Shack” as a book on theology.  I read it as fiction and as an attempt at allegory.  Much like I do when I watch movies or listen to songs or anything else.  Even in the most unexpected places, I am always looking for a glimpse of God; not a full description or manifesto of theology. I have seen things in Shawshank Redemption, Bruce Almighty, and Narnia that have served to bring me closer to the heart of God.  I have heard songs by bands like The Brand New, Pedro the Lion, and various others that have served to help me recognize God’s love and grace in new ways.

This book is no different.  I wrote several quotes from the book in my journal, and this book, because of its vivid allegory has revived my spirit and soul in places that had felt stagnant and dry.  It made God and his great love a step more tangible for me…

…even a book that is decent fiction and is only a story.

Where are all the haters for Narnia? Oh…but thats C.S. Lewis…

New Sermon Audio

I have posted new sermon audio if there are any people interested. You can check it out here…

PC’s Sermon Audio

- PC

5 Minutes

Earlier today, as a response to a reading I came across, I determined that I was going to set aside 5 minutes where I would do absolutely nothing.  I would close my office door and sit here for 5 minutes doing nothing, relaxing, and simply recognizing the presence of God.  I determined to be here right NOW in the presence of God, myself, and some furniture and do nothing.  I would sit with God for 5 minutes and do nothing else. 5 minutes!

It wasn’t long before my inner-critic, my inner-ass, my inner-Pharisee, my inner-good Christian spoke up.  It said (or more questioned), “5 minutes!?!? Thats all the time you are going to set aside for your God? Do you know some people pray for hours upon hours in a day? All you have to offer is 5 lousy minutes?”

I stepped past all of the inward barrage, and I did as I had determined to do.  For 5 minutes I did nothing.  For 5 refreshing minutes I sat with the heart of God’s presence, and though it was “only” 5 minutes, it was still more intentional time in God’s presence than I’ve had in hours of study.

There was a heart-level connection that allowed God to speak into my life at that moment, and I realized at least I gave 5 minutes.  When was the last time I even gave that much focused attention to the presence of God?  My inner-Pharisee is frustrated it wasn’t more, but my inner-child has been reminded, “At least you have 5 minutes.”

Once I allowed myself even 5 minutes to do nothing but relax in the presence of God, all of the other things that are so ‘important’ or ‘urgent’ have taken their proper placement in my life…

…even if for just 5 minutes.

4 Years on Highway 1

Davenport, California, population about 350, staying at the Davenport Roadhouse Restaurant and Inn.  It is a great little tiny town on the Highway 1.  It’s our 4 year wedding anniversary.  I sit out on the deck on a handmade rocker while Tonya takes a shower, and what a great moment this is to be so reflective while using up the last few pages of this journal, which has actually taken me a couple months short of a year to finish!

I am not sure it has ever taken me this long to fill a journal, but how great it is to look back through one book containing so much of life as I’ve seen it throughout the course of several months!

I was looking back through it before we went walking around the beach earlier, and I am amazed by all the things I have walked through over the last several months.  I have seen my life be really turned upside down and I have seen it come to great blessings in a completion only God could provide.  There were so many moments I wondered what the hell God was trying to do in my life, and why he seemed to keep great things from happening in my life; things I completely intended to glorify him greatly with.

Then I look at where I would have actually been if he had simply given me what I wanted at the time and simply placed me where I was sure I was supposed to be.  I look at things as they are now and see God’s amazing protection in place.  I would be so destroyed right now if I were where I thought I was supposed to be.  I would be burdened and heavy-hearted if I were doing what I thought I was supposed to be doing at that time.

But now, I cannot deny my Abba’s love and protection in my life.  I was SO SURE of what I was supposed to do where I was supposed to be, and I was confident that God would be glorified and honored by the ministry I would have been able to do in his name, but my Abba was there to protect.

I think of a child who wants more and more candy.  It’s so good! How could something be so good and be withheld with such assurance?  But the Father knows that candy will rot your stomach and bring you pain.  But my Father knows I would have only known more pain if I were where I was sure I was supposed to be.

And now, I find myself doing what I love.  It is my furthest long-term goal up to this point.  I am still happily married to the girl I’ve always wanted, and I still give my God all the credit, honor, and glory for it all.  My Father is very fond of me, and nonsensical protection and provision has proven that with more sense than I could write a hundred books about.

As I look down the long dark highway 1, I realize how incredibly long that road actually is in either direction from where I am at this tiny Davenport point upon it.  For miles behind me that brought us here, and for miles ahead of me that I am not intending to take at this point.  All along it, though, there is phenomenal beauty and magnificent mountains to enjoy.

4 years of marriage behind us and numerous ones ahead, but there will be beauty along the way.  More importantly, there will be an Abba Father all along the way who always knows what is best even if I cannot understand or recognized it.  All along the way there will be my Abba father who will lovingly allow me to make choices I am sure will hurt me and others in my lifetime, but I am confident that same Abba Father will protect and provide if I choose to obey and trust, even when that trust cuts to the bone of my own personal hopes, dreams, and ideals.

My Father God is very fond of me, and…

Metal Drawer

I remember an old metal desk I once had when I was much younger.  Green. Shaky. Short-lived metal desk with two small drawers.  I don’t recall what ever happened to the desk, but I remember having one of the drawers years later.  That drawer may even still be in an attic somewhere in Wisconsin for all I know.  The drawer was very important because it contained treasure.

It was the place I collected only the most important things to me at the time.  To most people, it would have been filled with worthless junk.  In fact, I am not too sure I would want any of it NOW (I don’t even know where the drawer IS.)  But each item in that drawer was well thought out and discerned with care of its worth and warrant as  determined by me at that time.  I was careful to think long and hard about what should make its way into my drawer.  All other items were unworthy of the drawer.

Whether or not the items are of any value now, they were important enough to be sure I kept hold on the drawer even after the desk was long gone; even after several family moves later.  I was devoted to taking care of that drawer because it contained important items, and those items made all the effort worth the work and care.

I remembered a little metal drawer after reading through Philippians 4 today, specifically verses 6-8.

The last couple weeks, I have read my Bible a lot, but I cannot say I have really “come to God’s word” today.  I have been disciplined at reading a book the last couple weeks, but not disciplined in connecting with God in that reading or much of anything for a couple weeks.  Philippians 4:6-8 has struck me to the heart to realize how important that time needs to be.

My heart and mind are little metal drawers, and that time I set aside to read through scripture or do ANYTHING needs to be approached with that in mind.  There are all sorts of things that pass through my heart and mind in the course of a day; thoughts and ideas about God, myself, others, the world… Which of those things make their way into my heart’s drawer?

“Because,” says Henri Nouwen, “in this useless hour in which you do nothing ‘important’ or ‘urgent’, you have come to terms with your basic powerlessness…you will find out that your many projects, plans, and obligations become less urgent, crucial, and important and lose their power over you.  They will leave you free during your time with God and take their appropriate place in your life.”